Making Fun of Marathoners Does Not Make You Funny

This afternoon I read this blog post, meant to be funny. I failed to see the humor:

>>>> Running a Marathon Does Not Make You Mother Teresa <<<<

It wasn’t so much the cheap jabs, or predictable stereotypes that bothered me. It was the fact that this was supposed to be funny.

This post was not actually funny. Hear me out. I’m a comedian. (Really.)

None of the cool kids thought you were funny. If my Facebook feed counts as a scientific sample, then 83% of people think you are pretty lame. It’s an epidemic! The worst kind. You know, other than runner’s trots.

I have a theory. It boils down to this: You’re a jerk.

You tried to be funny. I will grant you that. You probably wrote like crazy, did some proof-reading, and even checked for typos. That’s a lot of damn work. It has a pretty big pay-off, however. Some people actually thought you were funny. They visited your blog. They will probably follow. They cheer your name and share your post. Obviously, you are on the road to being funny.

Nope. Sorry to rain on your parade, but you’re still an asshat. You’re just an asshat picked on a group of people that you obviously don’t understand. I know it’s hard to believe, but marathoners don’t really wear Lululemon.

Laughing at bad jokes is bad for your heart. You’re actually a worse person now, after having laughed at this post, than you were before you ever read it. If you read it multiple times, you will turn into a sour grape.

Here’s my advice: If you don’t like running, don’t run. If you see other people running, let them be happy. It’s Christmas dumbass.

Now copy and paste the following after every negative comment below: “This post was meant to be funny and not offensive. I’m sorry if you are offended.”